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“Is penis size important?” is the most common question asked by men on online Q and A’s regarding sexuality. Since I became a sex educator many men have sheepishly asked me about the importance of penis size, hoping that I will alleviate a lifelong concern.

Why are dudes so concerned about the size of their junk?

Well for starters, porn. Most porn includes dicks that are at least 6.3 inches when hard. It is estimated that only 5% of penises are this big. Say we get 100 dudes to stand erect (sounds like a fun study), only five of them would be big enough to represent the average porn star. Also, porn stars often shave their public hair and may use a vascular device to pump their dick to make it look EVEN bigger.

How does this skew perception? Mass misunderstanding and feelings of inadequacy for the average dick owner. 63% of dudes are unhappy with their penis size and feel like they have a small dick and according to the Kinsey Institute many men believe that the average erection is 10 inches. DO YOU KNOW HOW FREEKIN HUGE THAT IS?

If you are a dude who watches porn (are there any dudes that don’t?) remember that the cocks that you are seeing do not reflect your average joe!

In actual fact, most dicks are close to the same size.

It has been predicted that about 95 percent of penises are 3 to 5 inches flaccid and 5 to 7 inches erect. This a really small range! Most cocks are VERY SIMILAR SIZES! When you pull down your pants for the first time in front of a new lover, chances are your penis doesn’t look dissimilar in size than most of the cocks than the person has seen before. That means you can totally chill out on the dick size obsession, you’re probably pretty normal.

Alright, but I still haven’t answered the question, is dick size important?

As is the answer to most scientific inquiries, the answer is: it depends.

A recent study explored heterosexual women’s thoughts about penis size. Interestingly, 59 percent of women reported that they were not satisfied in the bedroom, but the vast majority of participants said they would not change anything about their partners penis size.

Alright so us women folk aren’t satisfied, but it’s not because of dick size… how can that possibly be the case?

Let’s break this down.

Very few vagina owners can orgasm from penetration alone, which, in heterosexual interactions, is often the area where dick size plays its biggest role. Clitoral stimulation is KEY to many women’s orgasms, and therefore women are more likely to orgasm from oral sex or penetration with clitoral stimulation. Men, if you don’t know where the clit is, look it up right now! I actually just put up a huge labeled painting of a vulva right by my bed – just in case any of my paramours forget the journey is as important as the destination. The great thing about the clitoris is that, as it sits on the top area of the vulva, giving clitoral pleasure can be done with a finger or mouth, and a monster cock won’t do much to help you!

Alright so what about women who can orgasm from straight up penetration? It was found for this minority of women, larger penises do make climax more likely and therefore for this small cohort the larger dicks may be “better”.

I asked a handful of my friends their thoughts on penis size and mirroring a lot of studies that I examined, often times people do have preferences, but there is very little consistency regrading what the preferences are. I personally prefer a larger penis for blow jobs, but a smaller size for penetration. However, I was talking to my male bi friend and he said that he much prefers smaller dicks for blowies (as it is easier to fit it all in his mouth), but larger dicks for penetration.

I had a few friends say that they prefer a happy medium, “like Goldie Locks and the three bears... it’s most enjoyable to find a size that’s just right.” However, one friend I spoke to said that she LOVED huge penises, and another friend said smaller dicks are often better for her, as long as they aren’t miropenises! To further complicate matters, research shows that if someone is having a one-time encounter, women prefer a slightly above average penis, but for a long-term partner they care less. It seems like a lot of people do have preferences regarding size, but what they are depends on the person’s body, the sexual act, and the larger context.

The one consistency that has been found in the literature and in my conversations with friends is that for the vast majority of people engaging with dicks, penis size is not the most important aspect of an encounter. As my friend said, “I think an average size penis with a giant personality is mint.” If you are on the smaller side, you can EASILY make up for it by using toys, being a giving lover, engaging in clitoral stimulation and being an all-around nice dude.

If you are still feeling down about your dick size, think about how compared to all 192 primate species, including the gorilla and the orangutan, the human penis is the biggest!